PURIM: Rats! Purim is already upon up this year and I don't have a costume for any of the events surrounding it. For those of you who are unaware of Purim, it's a typical Jewish holiday (they tried to kill us; we won; let's eat) with a Mardi Gras twist: You're supposed to wear a costume and get stinking drunk. Anyways. I had planned to be Evil Jake this year, which is easy enough because all I need is a little black goatee. Purim snuck up on me though and I didn't get/grow a goatee in time. My back up plan, which is to dress up as Crispin Glover, is also on the rocks, as I don't think there's enough hair gel in my local CVS to pull this one off. Sigh, how do I get past the bouncers at Brother Jimmy's?