WHOA NELLIE: Fat Girl, I have nothing, NOTHING, against you. But you should have the good sense not to wear Little Belly Shirt. And please, PLEASE, don't compound the error by trying to cover it with Tiny Zippered Sweatshirt. Hint: If the zipper won't budge, maybe it's trying to tell you something. Of course ignore my advice if your ultimate goal is to become this American treasure.