Nelson, you fool: Right on Rachel!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

• Apparently I need to ask my doctor about advair. I don't know why -it's just something a million billboards are telling me to do.
• NBC needs look no further than Scrubs for its Thursday night anchor. I officially label it the best sitcom on network TV.
• I just rented a Ford Escort. I can't believe these tin cans are still being made. Ford should put this poor excuse for a golf cart out of its misery. Viva Focus.
• Blogging is hard.

THE MUSE IS GONE: (for now) I had a long rant on politics that I pulled and then a short spooge on Iraq that I also pulled. I realized that I shouldn't force this blog thing and if I have nothing coherent to say I should just keep quiet. So, I have nothing new to say for now. Quiet, I Keep.

WEIRD KARMA AND DATING, EPISODE I: I just watched the Bachelorette tonight (ABC, Wednesday nights 9PM EST) and received my very first "tease" from a lady on JDate. I therefore have newfound (mis)understandings about dating and the opposite sex. Tonight, we'll tackle the Bachelorette. First off, there's Russ, who's playing the game aggressively, like a female in heat. Give the guy credit, at least his game plan is unique. He's acting like he couldn't even count to 21 in the buff, if you get my drift. Overall, the men have a lot more composure than the amazin' fightin' females I'm used to seeing on the traditional gaggle of hens and a rooster show. So far, IMHO, it's been kinda hard to manufacture tension where there isn't any. Let's face it, men aren't the nail biting "I hope she likes me" types. I suppose that may change as the choices narrow and we learn more about the remaining competitors. Frankly, I doubt I'll be watching that long. True to form, though, I do have a proposal for a show that I'd watch: "JAP NYC: (subtitle: a yiddishe maidele in New York)" I can see it now. There's Akiva, the Einstein University medical student from Silver Springs who hasn't picked a specialty yet; his best friend David, the medical malpractice lawyer (read: ambulance chaser) from Long Island; Irving the accountant from Queens and much, much more. First date: Meet the family. Mondays on NBC, with encore performances on Thursday after Conan, but definitely not on Saturdays. To be continued...

ADVENTURES IN PYTHON, PART I: So, I've decided -in spirit- to start investigating Python as my next scripting language to conquer. I find myself philosphically drawn to underdogs, which is why I'm not the least bit intrigued by Perl (It's also why I have a continuing fascination with Macintoshes, alternate energy and the Democratic party.) Anyhow, to fully appreciate Guido's zen, I've embarked upon the first stage of my education, namely renting Monty Python movies. I must say, Life of Brian was funny, Holy Grail less so, but still satisfying. Soon I'll have to start researching the actual language, but understanding a man's sense of humor is the first step. STAY TUNED.

GO SMALL YOUNG MAN: Are we at a point in out digital evolution where it's counterproductive to work in a large company? I look around and all I see is the sclerosis of the working in a cubicle mentality. It's uncanny how much Mike Judge got right in his flick "Office Space" about office life. There's so much politics and mediocrity that it stifles commerce and efficiency. What's the answer? Well, as a developer, i wonder if we are at the age of the resurgence of the single person company. I mean, why not? What does a large company offer me that I can't have/do better on my own? If I need additional resources for a project, I can cherry pick a virtual group specifically for my needs at hand from my like minded colleagues in cyberspace. I can jump fropm project to project based upon criteria of my choosing, rather than some mid-level flack's perceived need. Now all I really need is a medical insurance collective...

GEORGE W. BUSH OFFICE BETTING POOL: I'm calling dibs on war breaking out in Iraq sometime between the 15th and the 20th (That's between Wednesday and Monday of this week and next.) Actually that's my spread, based upon time differentials and assorted other non-classified information (read: educated guess) I'm figuring midnight Wednesday.) Any takers?

SIGH: I just watched a rerun of SNL with Lara Flynn-Boyle as guest star from last year. Man, without Will Ferrell and Anna Gasteyer that show has really suffered. No leading persona has yet emerged from the current talent pool to replace either one. While the current cast is OK, only Maya has a shot at rising to the top of the heap. Sorry Tracy and Horatio.

THE IDEA: I noticed the other day that the space between the shuttle and the 7th Avenue line at the 42nd street station was blissfully quite. Usually, the space is occupied by musicians (and I use the term lightly, you'll understand why in a moment) abusing plastic buckets with drumsticks for handouts. In fact, the latest trend is for two or more of these characters to perform together, thus enhancing the aural attack on your delicate eardrums. I suppose the performances would have some merit were I an aboriginal pygmie from New Zealand or something, but I just can't escape the feeling that it's all just NOISE. Now, I'm not against all the performers under the streets of Manhattan, in fact I regularly take note of those who show talent. There's Theo Eastwind, who'm I've subsequently seen play the Cutting Room; United Family of Strings, who should be permanently employed by the New York City Transit Authority; and of course, the dude who tangoes with a life sized female mannequin. The point is, I was pleasantly surprised by how soothing the sound of silence truly is. So, without further ado here's my plan: Grab a piece of oak tag or some other suitable sign stock and write on it something like this: This moment of precious silence is brought to you by Citizens For Silence, a non-profit organization dedicated to preseving your sanity during the morning and afternoon rush. Your generous donations will be given directly to [charity of your choice goes here] without any attempt at profiteering by CFS representatives. Have a nice day. Now stake out a spot in the subway system that is usually inhabited by a bucket-sician, plant your sign, and defend your territory for the duration of the rush. With luck, this can become a national movement.

ENVISION WHIRLED PEAS: A letter to Thomas Friedman: Tom, I just saw a PBS program called "Sandwiches that You Will Like" that examines the sandwich in eateries all across America. The show is an wonderful slice (no pun intended) of Americans of all races creeds, colors and professions in a happy mosaic enjoying their lunches. To be brief -I'm no writer- this is the kind of image of America that should play well in Persia as well as Peoria. I hope you have the time to watch this entertaining piece. Your thoughts, please. -Jake

CALLING JOHN EDWARDS: My dad, who passed away when I was 15, has been making prominent appearances in my dreams lately. He's had the occasional cameo for as long as I can remember, but it seems that the network that broadcasts into my sleeping head has picked up his contract for the season and made him a regular. In my dreams, he's either a bizarre authority figure or an enigma -definitely not the great dad I knew. I wonder what my subconscious is trying to tell me?

INCREDULUS MAXIMUS: Fox NewsFlash: Top U.S. War Planners Heading to Persian Gulf. What's next? secret invasion date revealed on HardCopy?

NON DIGITALLY-ABLED NEED NOT APPLY: ned and mitch seem to think that Python is ready for prime-time as a development language for big-league application development. Jon, synergist that he is, is psyched about the possibilities of a software product that is intrinsically scriptable (which is what an app written in Python would be.) It's not clear to me why this is radically better than a Java app. but I'm willing to let those who've given it more thought than I write the book on this one. I'm sticking with Java for now because it's more difficult for me (than those more liguistically endowed) to switch gears so often -and I've already got too many syntaxes on my plate. In a nutshell, Java seems to be the language with the most cross-platform bindings right now. Oh, and eclipse rules!

EPIPHANY: the Osbournes = the Simpsons + Money. Oh, and Jack is definitely Bart.

BUMMER: In accordance with the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and the New York State Public Service Commission, beginning February 1, 2003, New York City Business' and residents must dial 1 + the area code + the 7-digit number to complete all calls within area codes 212, 718, 917, 646, and 347. Calls dialed using only seven digits cannot be completed and will be directed to a recorded intercept announcement. Thanks Ellen, Monday wasn't dreary enough.

My first entry. I read somewhere (the Times, perhaps?) that local TV programming is on the rise in the rest of the world and that this is negatively impacting the bottom line of American content providers. On a macro level, I can't help but see this as a good thing. American TV is our most visible manifestation of cultural imperialism. Not that I don't think the free markets should decide such things (I do), it's just that with more local content, perhaps those less fortunate than us (let's face it, they're all less fortunate than us) can stop complaining that America is stealing their soul through their TV sets. Oh yeah, Joe Millionaire debuts tonight on FOX.