NOBODY'S HOME: Not a big fan of the reality show. I mean, I have my own reality to deal with, why live vicariously through someone else's? Having said that, I did manage to catch a few snippets of the show Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica here and there. My observations? The marriage isn't doomed because Jessica's a spoiled brat. It's doomed because she's a stupid spoiled brat. Also, with all these "reality" shows around, how long before the average American thinks "going into hair and makeup" is an expected precursor to any social event?

MEA CULPA: All my bitchin' on May 31st turned out to be wrong headed. That was the night (and the event) at which I met my fiancee.

IRAQ: I have become obsessed with the progress of Iraqi reconstruction and the like. If you are interested too, here are some interesting sites: Iraq Today and the Baghdad Bulletin.

INEXCUSABLE: <rant>It seems that some major vendors that I work with outsource their sales. I find that inexcusable. I mean, these firms are creating a rats nest of problems for folks trying to evaluate, purchase and support their products! Sales is a core competency and should not be outsourced. Shame on you Sun and Xerox!</rant>

HAVE A HAPPY: To all my Jewish friends, have a happy and healthy new year. Take this time to reflect upon the past and plan for your future! To my "gentile" friends, Have a wonderful Saturday and may your weekend be all that you wished for... Take this time to reflect upon the past and plan for your future! To my friends in the animal kingdom... Did I leave anyone/thing out? Shana Tova to all!

YOU WANT FISH WIT DAT?: I went with my fiancee to a wedding hall yesterday -I'll leave the name out to protect the innocent (me...you'll see why in a moment)- and in the process reinforced my suspicion that the mob has more than a passing interest in the banquet "racket" in the Big Apple. A man who, for all intents and purposes, (intensive purposes?) could have been Vincent Pastore's little brother was waddling around the grounds. I mean, this guy had a comb-over worthy of Rudy, no neck to speak of, was wearing a royal blue double breasted suit that could probably have covered the infield at Shea and a wide yellow tie. To be fair, he owned that suit. I strongly suspect that he cracks nuts with his bare hands and was a nose tackle for St. Igna-whatever high as a teenager. Say what you want about the place, but I have no doubt that should one of the omnipresent Jewish panhandlers who appear almost spontaneously at orthodox weddings in New York try to gain entry during an event he or she would be taught a lesson he (or she) wouldn't refuse forget. P.S. We still have not set a date.

SIGH: Another great idea I had back in my college days is being implemented without me... In fairness, I didn't want to be forever known as the guy who made parking tickets stick. Think of the death threats I would have gotten!

SHWEET: I've been renting cars a lot lately, what with all the wedding plans that need to be made -Lorraine needs a chauffer. Today, I queued up for my regular "compact" car deal at Hertz and was pleasantly surprised to be handed the keys to a boffo white Subaru Outback. So now I'm obliged to say things like "G'day" and wear a shark tooth on a string around my neck & stuff. The car, incidentially, is quite luxo. I'm pleased. The lady Lorraine and I will be making our entrance at the engagement par-tay this afternoon in high style now.

PREACHING TO THE CHOIR: Friedman confirms what I've been saying all along (free registration required.)

AARON SPELLING ON LINE ONE: My idea for a sitcom, tenatively dubbed "Shark" (As in "jump the.."):

Episode 1: A clip show. Episode 2: A main character's actor gets switched without any explanation. Episode 3: A very special episode (someone has AIDS/ALZHEIMER's or is PREGNANT/HANDICAPPED.) Episode 4: As seen through the family pet's eyes. Episode 5: Introduce a cute new kid via a convoluted plot device. Episode 6: The mechanic/painter/handyman/doorman/cabbie/mailman becomes a regular character. Episode 7: The show is aired live. Episode 8: A musical. Episode 9: repeat

STOP THE PRESSES: I got engaged over the weekend. The future Mrs. Gimlet is the lovely maiden Lorraine of White Meadow Lake (New Jersey) We were engaged Saturday eve. Alternate feelings of euphoria and nausea ensued. Lest you think otherwise, the nausea is unrelated to events -I happen to be battling a persistent flu-like cold that is doing its unsuccessful best to dampen my enthusiasm. Raise your morning coffee for a toast. L'Chaim all!

THE ONION: has a piece on where the 19 hijackers are today.

WHERE WAS I:

On this day two years ago I sat. Grimly glued to the television as my city burned. Smelling the acrid smoke from my apartment. Watching the skies, devoid of all movement but the racetrack contrails of F-15's. Networking to ensure all my friends and colleagues made it out alive. Hosting friend and relative fleeing their high-rise places of employment. Not knowing what the future would bring.

VELLY INTELESTING: Salam Pax, the famous Baghdad Blogger, was interviewed on the Beeb. You can listen to it here. The follow-on webchat is here. Some fascinating insights into the Iraqi situation from someone who is certainly positioned to know. ALSO: Countering the spate of bad news coming out of Iraq, this poll of the Iraqi people, shows some interesting and positive attitudes in country. UNRELATED: Bob has an interesting read on the post office and identity theft.

JEWISH RENNAISANCE FAIR: OK, so I went to the Jewish Rennaisance Fair in New Jersey yesterday. I was half-expecting to see Jousting -Jewish Style (?) or something of that nature, but all I got was Uncle Moishy, Israeli arts and half-boiled hot dogs for my troubles. (Sidebar: The rumored Uncle Moishy-Barney smackdown never occured, sigh!) To be fair (sic.) I did enjoy the Israeli solidarity pavilion, which featured vendors from Israel hawking Israeli goods in an attempt to support the Israeli economy during these troubled times. In particular, I bought one of these educational toys for my nephew's seventh birthday. I hope he likes it, it's not the Gameboy he was expecting. Unexpectedly, I was completely choked up by the One Family booth. One Family supports the victims of terror in Israel in a very special way. I say unexpectedly because, while I am very emotionally connected to the suffering of my people, I didn't expect the emotional roller coaster I actually endured when perusing the booth. Perhaps the upcoming "yahrzeit" of September 11 has me in an especially contemplative mood. I do plan on commemorating the event in several ways this coming Thursday. If you live on or near the Upper West Side of New York City, I will be laying some flowers and a candle at the Fireman's Memorial in Riverside Park. I'm not sure if I'll be able to go in the morning at the time of the attacks or in the evening, though. If you want to come with, drop me a line through any of the contact methods in the sidebar. ME & JULIO: It looks like the boys from Corona are back! They must be really broke to resort to this. Last I heard S & G really don't like each other too much. Who cares? I'lll be first on line (online?) for tix. UPDATE: Hero of the Day, by Metallica, seems to encapsulate my feelings this week.

NEW TEMPLATE: Waddya think? ALSO, It turns out (RedHat) Linux's USB support is quite impressive. Even more hassle-free than my current benchmark of Windows 2000 (thus far.)

ANOTHER PIECE OF THE PUZZLE: I just purchased a 17" LCD monitor with built-in stereo speakers for the astoundingly low price of $299 (after rebate). This, for my media PC, which will be recast as a (Linux) workstation in light of some other purchases that have negated much of the need for such a contrivance in the first place. MY CABLE COMPANY now offers this DVR (Digital Video Recorder) set-top box that does the same thing as a TiVO, for 10 bucks a month. So, naturally, I snapped one up. Now I no longer "need" the PVR/DVR services that my media PC would have provided. Oh yeah, and I can watch an endless supply of Family Guy reruns. Yippee! I FINALLY UPGRADED my PDA to a respectable Sony Clie PEG TG/50. Through the magic of credit card rewards programs this purchase came out to a whopping zero dollars! With this tiny Bluetooth dongle attached to an open USB port on my laptop, I can use the Clie to wirelessly browse the 'net from anywhere in my shockingly small apartment.

AS PROMISED: Well, I've ended my self-imposed blogging exile and am ready to start up again. I'm not sure if I'll have as much to say as often as I did before, but I'll give it a whirl. THE BLACKOUT happened, y'all know that. I was on 42nd & 3rd when the lights went out. I did what any self respecting New Yorker would do when work suddenly ends -I hit the bars. My friends Brendan, Peter & I moseyed over to McFadden's & got a little sauced. I then proceeded to walk up to Columbus circle in the hopes of finding a bike rental place so I could pedal up to my flat on 98th. No luck finding a bike store that was renting, but I did manage to hop onto the back of a flatbed tractor trailer, (with about 50 other like-minded individuals) proceeded to enjoy an open-air ride straight up Amsterdam and got dropped off on my doorstep. Good times and good will abounded on that day -the natives will be singing about it for years to come. SAW AMERICAN SPLENDOR this weekend. A good movie with a sense of humor and a fine cast of character actors. You know them: the thespians that would never headline a bill anywhere else but in a boutique film. Giamatti was excellent, as usual, but I felt the movie went on a tad too long. I got restless near the end and a ten minute trim would have been perfect. Fascinating how it tied into Crumb -the man and the movie -which I found unwatcheable. MY EXTENDED BROOD INCREASED this month with the addition of another nephew in Israel, bringing the total number of short, loud people who call me Uncle Yaakov to fifteen. I think I need to take a second job just to afford gifts for all of them. I'M SO PROUD that my GF is hooked on Family Guy. Stewie cracks her up.