PUBLIC SERVICE: My friend Wendy forwarded me a message today. I know I had read this article by Dennis Miller awhile back. UPDATE: I knew I had read this essay before, and now, thanks to my Californian friend Ellen and snopes.com, I know where. It's actually written by Larry Miller for the Weekly Standard and not Dennis Miller. You can read it in its entirety here. You may recognize Larry from guest spots on popular sitcoms such as Seinfeld, where he played Elaine's doorman or in such movies as A Mighty Wind, in which he had a small role. I am dutifully removing the link to the post attributed to Dennis Miller.