AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...

From The Stewardess Monologues::

I just love it when passengers get on the plane and they all look in the cockpit. Wouldn't it be great if the pilots were sitting in there, one reading a book titled "SO YOU WANT TO FLY?", and the other holding a broken switch in his hand with a look of confusion on his face?

another gem:

Frequent Fliers: why can everything be justified by how many miles they have? "Sir, you simply cannot be smacking around a flight attendant like that. You can't. Oh? Super Gold status? Yes, well ... that IS a lot of miles. You certainly can slap a flight attendant, sir. Yes, you can.