THE SKY IS NOT FALLING

I'm not referring to the financial crisis, for which I am unqualified to comment and for which the sky may indeed be falling. I am referring to the election. Here are some of the cyclical comments I hear every four years:

• This election really matters
• The other guy will lead us on the roads to ruin for sure
• That guy is a closet antisemite/muslim/socialist/hippie/elitist/liberal/oil sucking vampire
• If that guy is voted in I'm definitely decamping to Canada/Europe/Israel
• He's not experienced/too experienced
• He's a hopeless outsider/insider
• He's too young/old
• He panders to the left/right/center/religious right/nutroots/netroots/loony left/Jews (always the Jews)
• Twenty years ago he said that/did this/was seen talking to him/tied his shoelaces like that

My simple rules:

• Vote your conscience.
• Don't believe most of the dirt being dished -especially as we get down to the wire.
• Politicians are by definition slippery
• The world won't end on November 5th no matter who wins the election.
• Once it's over, unite behind our elected leader.
• Remember, it's always between a giant douchebag and a turd sandwich.