GOOD READ DEPARTMENT: Broken Baghdad Brutal, Bloody and bellowing and Graffiti On History's Walls. Both touch on topics dear to my heart.

HEADACHE: I have a pounding one right now. No particular reason I can figure. Shout out to Ellen in LA, who just got engaged to Stuart. Woohoo! Ellen, I doubt you recall, was with me from the very beginning. My wedding planning program will soon be available for $500US retail. <grin> In no particular order:

• Why is it that corporate travel agents have the collective problem solving capacity of a mold spore?
• Why does my set top DVR pause interminably between switching channels?
• Why do some people always seem to call when the TV show you are watching is about to reach its exciting conclusion? (app. 10 minutes to the hour)
• Why do some people insist on blowing themselves up?
• Why do some columnists never have anything positive to say about anything?
• When will the X-Prize be won?
• Do we really need these?
• Who's right? him? or her?

OK, I'm done questioning for now.

ODD SUGGESTION: My mom is fixated on having a "mob" walk down the aisle at my upcoming wedding ceremony. She thinks its very pretty looking. Basically, she envisions my brothers and sisters walking down the aisle in pairs with their spouses in formation, right behind each other. I think it sounds ridiculous and keep envisioning a baton twirler at the front of the procession. Sound off in the comments please. Keep in mind that IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: Is it just me? or does Mary remind you of Wendy? (the resemblance seems more striking on television)

SUSAN: Susan is Ned's wife. Apparently Susan is as accomplished a writer and thinker as the Nedster. Here's her touching (and yes, thoughful) piece on their son's Bar Mitzvah.

OVERHEARD: Aaron Boone being interviewed last night: "Derek said I should be patient, the ghost will eventually show up."

DIGERY-DOODOO: Apparently, hell hath froze over. (Not a moment too soon, says I.) Go here for more info... After watching yet another punishing episode of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica and seeing a commercial for yet another B-list celebrity reality show (something about rich sisters) I wonder if MTV is doing something subversive here: My theory is that having given birth to the current music celebrity/fashionista as diety craze perhaps MTV is trying to kill it by artfully deconstructing said personalities. Let's look at the evidence here. The Osbournes is a twisted look at the modern nuclear family. How many of us actually wish we were in Ozzy and Sharon's shoes now that we've seen all their laundry -and doggy poop? Sure we love 'em, but the way you love a crazy uncle, not the way you envy someone. Then there's Nick and Jessica. What more can I say about these two that hasn't already been written? I've heard it said somewhere that the folks at MTV are way smarter than the fare they dole out. Somehow, I believe that. The beauty of the whole scenario is that the celebs being filmed don't seem to have caught on to the fact that they're on the wrong side of a cruel runnning joke. UPDATE: iTunes for Windows really does rock! If the streaming (radio) and overall sound qualtiy continues to perform better than my existing Musicmatch player, I may make the switch permanent. I can give up the skinning features of MM but I wish iTunes could make itself really small like MM can. <--It can!

HOW AVANTE GARDE OF ME: SNL this weekend (I DVR'ed it) spoofed Nick & Jessica. Do they read my blog?

PUBLIC SERVICE: My friend Wendy forwarded me a message today. I know I had read this article by Dennis Miller awhile back. UPDATE: I knew I had read this essay before, and now, thanks to my Californian friend Ellen and snopes.com, I know where. It's actually written by Larry Miller for the Weekly Standard and not Dennis Miller. You can read it in its entirety here. You may recognize Larry from guest spots on popular sitcoms such as Seinfeld, where he played Elaine's doorman or in such movies as A Mighty Wind, in which he had a small role. I am dutifully removing the link to the post attributed to Dennis Miller.

SOUL SURROUNDINGS: Yesterday I attended the sobering funeral of M.'s sister. M. came to know my family when he was a teenager. His Yeshiva was up the block from my house & he used to come by with his friends to play ball in our backyard before the fledgling Yeshiva was able to construct its own court. Soon, he was a regular at the Sabbath table in my house and became a sixth member of the family. I was perhaps, 9 years old when that happened. Today, M. lives in his adopted hometown of Kew Gardens with his family. His oldest is sixteen or so years old. Wow, time flies. M.'s slightly older sister C. liked Kew Gardens so much that -after she got married- she moved in next door to M. and proceeded to raise her family there too. Monday -Yom Kippur- C. lost her fight with cancer and returned her soul to the Maker. Over a thousand people whose lives were touched by C. and her family attended her funeral in Forest Hills yesterday. It was truly an amazing and touching ceremony. In addition to family and friends there were students of the deceased, as well as those she befriended as part of a peer support program for the similarly ill. The funeral home was way past capacity. People were crammed into doorways in the front and back and poured out onto the sidewalks and the parking lot to listen to the eulogies and share in C.'s family's grief. Throughout, I confess, I only thought of M. I hardly knew C., but vividly recall M. runninng up to me, giving me a bear hug and letting me cry on his shoulder at my father's funeral some 16 years ago. Yesterday, I returned the favor.

APB: Anyone know what happened to Susanna, the Reverse Cowgirl? Her blog went dead and her e-mail forwarding address from Salon bounced. I worry...

CHILDISH: So Lorraine & I were having dinner at a posh Upper West Side eatery. As usual, I emptied out the digeritus from my pockets (cell phone, PDA, etc.) Lorraine didn't bring her pocketbook, so she innocently dumped her phone into the pile. Twisted individual that I am, I noticed that the phones seemed to be getting it on. Eventually I found myself posing the phones in ever more compromising positions. You know I always wanted to direct... So dim the lights sickos, without further ado I give you part one of my new phone sex photo shoot: Foreplay.